GodsendJen

As a former Orioles ticket holder I can appreciate the sentiment some fans express during Thursday's day game at Camden.  Organized by Sports Talk 1570 in Baltimore a group of fans attended Thursday's game and walked out in protest 1 hour into the proceeding.  The protest was against Peter Angelos, the Orioles owner who is perhaps the worst owner in baseball after the Tribune Company.  The fans want new ownership, a better team, or to at least "get some players in here who want to be part of the community, who understand what a crab cake is."

From a fan's perspective good business men make lousy owners because they usually put the bottom line ahead of winning percentage.  Its precisely that characteristic of Angelos that guarantees this type of protest would never work with Angelos.  He is a business man and while you were "protesting" you did it without impacting his bottom line.  If you want to make a statement in Baltimore stop buying tickets.  Don't renew your season tickets.  Don't buy yet another Orioles hat.  Don't even wear the Orioles hats you have.  Stop watching the Orioles on television. If you really want to protest do it outside Camden.  If he can't sell tickets and can't sell advertising during the games....that is the kind of protest the Angelos would understand.  Of course the real problem here is that Baltimore, as much as any city I've spent time in, is a baseball town.  They love the game and they will keep buying tickets even if it is only to see another team win 9 games out of 10.  And you know what....I suspect Mr. Angelos knows this too.

Baltimore Sun Story

Ok, our new kicker isn't actually Moses, but at 46 Morton Anderson probably cheated off his paper on spelling tests in the second grade.  We needed a kicker, desperately.  I just never dreamed we'd find one so old.  Anderson hasn't taken the field in the NFL since 2004 when he was with the Vikings.  At one time Anderson was great.  He holds the franchise scoring records in New Orleans and Atlanta. Not surprising since he is only 76 points short of the all time NFL scoring record.  (Gary Anderson holds that distinction with 2,358 points. No word yet on if the two are related.) Anderson is from Denmark and his career highlights include kicking 3 50+ yard field goals in the same game.  I can't say that wouldn't be nice, but it happened in 1995 so I wouldn't hold out hope. It's possible he won't have the opportunity to do that for the Falcons again.  Koenen has a strong leg and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't get a shot at everything over 40 or 45 yards.  Plus Anderson is OLD.  A 50 yard kick might be enough to put him in the old folk's home. He holds a handful of records related to kicks over 50 yards and his pro bowl appearances.  Record highlights from his wikipedia entry:

• Most points ever in Pro Bowl history - 45 (15 points after touchdown, 10 field goals)
• Most points after touchdown ever in Pro Bowl history - 15
• Most field goal attempts ever in Pro Bowl history - 18
• Most field goals in Pro Bowl history - 10
• Most field goals (50 or more yards) in NFL history - 40
• Most field goals (50 or more yards) in a season - 8
• Most field goals (50 or more yards) in a game - 3
• Most games played in NFL history - 354

He's also a member of the Danish American Football Federations Hall of Fame (Who even knew such a thing existed?) and the NFL's all decade team for the 1980s AND the 1990s.  The annoucement on the Falcon's site is filled with career accomplishments as well.  It's clear that he was clutch at one time, I just hope he still has it. 

The question this really holds for me is what exactly did Todd Peterson do?  I know we have cap issues but he had to have really ticked someone in our player personnel department off to not get the call.  Maybe Peterson is sore about us not renewing him earlier and is demanding unreasonable pay....but he was pretty good for us and I can't believe we didn't try to work something out.  I wish Anderson the best of luck but I'd rather have a younger proven commodity.  Maybe some friendly staffer up at Flowery Branch will email me an explanation because this really baffles me.

Oh, one other note about Morton Anderson....he last wore #7.  Hope someone told him was have a fellow on our team who is already pretty attached to that number.  Thankfully his old #5 Falcon's jersey is still available.

Falcons Story
ESPN Article
Anderson's Career Statistics

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that you can easily proliferate stupid ideas.  This one is dumb, but at least fun.  Its Talk Like A Pirate Day.  In the spirit of this I took a quiz to determine my pirate name.  The result: Bloody Jenny Bonney.  For me the pirates life is about the fighting.  I'm unpredictable but that's ok because a "pirate's life is far from full of certainties."  Get your own at Pirate Quiz. Once you have a name you watch this video to learn how to talk like a pirate and then you can hit the local watering hole and try out these Pirate Pickup Lines.

Before last season kicked off some friends convinced me to start watching hockey. Already a certifiable sports nut, I wasn't sure I needed another team (and a whole other league) to follow. Beyond this my biggest problem with hockey is that it isn't accessible for me.  Football, baseball and even basketball and soccer are games I can go out and play in my backyard or my driveway.  As mentioned here previously, I can barely stand on ice skates so I can't just up and play with friends at a cookout for fun.  Despite this I gave in and watched anyway.  I went to some games and even got a jersey sweater.  I was hooked.  Hockey wasn't entirely new to me.  I'd gone to enough Renegades games in Richmond (prior to their demise) that I understood the rules, the basic positions, and that improperly laying a basketball court on top of the ice makes for one really sloppy basketball game. Last year I focused on learning who our players are, how the new rules affected the game and how to recognize penalties.  This year I've decided to learn about strategy.  What the major plays are and where players should be on the ice.  I thought preseason training camp might be a good place to start learning so I decided to pass on watching College Game Day Saturday morning and check out camp.  I learned a lot from watching practice and talking with my new friend Noah, but it wasn't what I expected to learn.  Here are the highlights.

1. Hockey practice is not for the color blind. The team looks like they are auditioning for a skittles commercial on ice.  Thankfully it didn't take long to realize the point of this is to color-code the lines.  At first it was frustrating.  I learned about the players, but I'm used to finding them on the ice based on their name and number.  The color coded jerseys don't have names and numbers.  This proved not to be as troublesome as I feared.  It doesn't take long to realize who is on what line and after that finding someone on ice is actually easier because of this handy color scheme. I was interested in watching a couple of our new centers and spotting the short guys in navy (Metropolit) and gold (Kapenan) was pretty easy.  For the record Metro is very very fast and Kapenan is adorable. Can they make up for the departure of Mr. Savard?  Who knows?  Of course finding my favorite (Hossa) and everyone else's favorite (Kolvachuk) was easy.
   
   
2. You spend a whole lot of time just standing around at hockey practice. In most sports, training camp is designed to get players back into game condition.  To build up their endurance so they can go full speed for an entire game. I was really surprised to see most of practice consisting of short bursts of activity by one line while the players from the other lines are waiting in a queue for their turn.  Maybe this works for hockey and not for other sports because no other sport imitates their pattern of constantly rotating personnel but I was surprised. In addition to this there were several times during practice when Hartley called the team over to his white board to explain what he wanted them to do. (That's what is going on in the first picture.)  Never-the-less some of these guys were just exhausted at the end of the 2 hour, 20 minute practice.
   
   
3. It's really hard to take good pictures of hockey practice.  Part of this is because some of these guys skate very fast.  Part of it is the glass.  Part of it is that I wore sandals, shorts and a t-shirt to practice and was shivering while taking photos.  I was absolutely struck by how short one of our new goalies is.  Brathwaite is 5'7" and looks like a dwarf compared to Kari Lehtonen who is 6'4".  The photos I took to illustrate this look terrible, but I'm using two of them anyway.  The photos are taken at different distances but with the guys standing in front of the same goal.  Look at the difference in where the top of goal hits each of them, and then look at the top of their head in relation to the yellow line in the background.  Like I said, Brathwaite looks like a shrimp. 
   
   Brathwaite surprised me in general.  I knew we'd signed new goalies but I had no idea that Brathwaite is whatever you call African-Americans in Canada (African-Canadian?) [on advice from my Canadian friend the correct label is-->]Canadian.  He had his helmet painted up with MLK and and a Welcome to Atlanta sign that people appeared to like.  Our other new goalie was a big hit.  I think the inner sports fan in all of us just loves shouting "Moose."  Frankly I wouldn't mind not seeing either of these guys in goal this year for any reason other than giving Lehtonen a night off on occasion.  I also learned that while some players are fast, goalies are slow on skates.  Maybe it's all the padding but these guys lagged far behind everyone else when the skating portion of practice began.
   
   
4. Of all the various sports practices I've watched or participated in I think hockey practice reminds me most of basketball practice.  Lots and lots of drills done as a whole team (football splits up into units for these) and not so much game simulation.  This struck me most at the end of practice when it was time to do some skating.  They moved the goals out of the way and everyone got situated behind the red line at the end of the ice.  I had instant recollection of coaches yelling for us to line up at the base line during basketball practice...and sure enough it's the same exercise but on skates.  We ran between the baseline and the top of the key, half-court, the top of the other key and finally the other baseline before collapsing and trying not to vomit.  Swap out the keys with the blue lines and the hockey players were doing the same thing.  I guess everyone appreciate the effort as the assembled voyeurs were cheering, usually for the last guy to finish in each group. I guess since hockey adopted the best part of basketball (the fast break) they decided to adopt the most excruciating part of practice as well.
   
   
5. Real hockey fans are serious about hockey and this starts young.  My new friend Noah was happy to tell me something about almost every Thrasher.  He knew every player's first and last name as well as their number.  He knew where players who had left the Thrashers during the off-season had signed.  He knew how to pronounce the funny sounding European last names.  His favorite player is Kolvachuk because of his fierce slapshot. He was happy to share with me some key statistics form Kovalchuk's season last year.  Noah plays hockey and skates fast just like Kolvachuk and even skates fast backward.  He has not yet mastered that slapshot.  Noah plays left wing on his hockey team.  I told him my favorites are Hossa, because I think he plays smart and because he scores all the short-handed goals and Jim Slater because I think he's cute.  Noah thought that last bit was funny. This was a moment of enlightenment for me.  I am used to being one of the more knowledgeable people in any sports conversation but Noah knew much more about the game and its players than I do. According to his dad, Noah's room is a shrine to all things Thrashers.  Did I mention that Noah is 5? Last season he got to be boy of the game once.  He stood on the ice with Kolvachuk, Mellanby and right next to Peter Bondra.  I think with Hockey I might have to accept that I can't catch up to some serious fans.  I mean if they start committing these details to memory at age 5, and I didn't start until last year....I'm going to take it as a sign to just enjoy the game rather than talk about it.
   

So far the Falcons have missed 6 of 8 field goal attempts.  Everyone in the media is singing our praises but that wont last if we keep passing up the easy points. Len P summed up our kicking performance in today's game quite well:

Second-year veteran Michael Koenen, who is handling all three kicking chores for the Falcons, missed four field goal attempts Sunday and squandered an opportunity to bury the Bucs early. Koenen was an equal opportunity scattershot kicker, missing wide left twice (from 36 and 40 yards), wide right once (30 yards) and having a 30-yard effort blocked. In two games, Koenen has now converted 2 of 8 attempts. His six misses are three times as many as last year's kicker, Todd Peterson, had for the Falcons.

I think our cap guy needs to crunch some numbers tonight and find a way to get us a real kicker.  I would be happy if we just brought Peterson back.  I don't know who he ticked off but he never missed a gimmie indoors from 30 yards.  We can still let Koenen have a shot at the stuff outside 45 yards.  If we really can't bring outselves  to pay for a kicker then we should turn this into a marketing gimmick and just pick some lucky fan to attempt our field goals.  They would have just as much luck as Koenen and we wouldn't feel nearly as bad when they miss.

For a few days now I've listened to the talking heads at ESPN promote "Separation Saturday" on ESPN and ABC this Saturday.  For those of you who have a life they are referring to the weekend's college football schedule.  This is a great schedule for fans.  There are seven games where ranked opponents face off against one another, and as the name suggests it should do a bit to separate the contenders from the pretenders.  But really, do we need to brand it and turn it into marketing hype?  What's wrong with saying "This is a great weekend for good college football...real matchups not gimmies are on the schedule?"   Instead all you hear from the talking heads all week is "Separation Saturday....games at noon, 3 and 8 pm." And besides, if you are going to market it do it right.  Don't make it sound like the day a divorcing couple is packing up their belongings.  This guy has the right idea.  He assigns a theme, but then goes on to explain it.  (And Joe, if you read this you will have to forgive me for linking to the site of a Michigan fan. But that poster is good stuff. Just remember that ND won. <oops! Guess I got ahead of myself.>)

Of course my team plays a patsy (Duke) but that is ok.  We prefer to play our big games on weekend when we don't have to share the slate with 12 other schools.  Personally I'm looking forward to the Louisville Miami game.  Its important to my team that Miami take care of business at this game.  Louisville lovers have been singing the Cardinals praises since back in their time at Conference USA.  I just don't buy into it.  We beat them last year just as soundly as we beat the Moutaineers.  I think the hype surrounding these teams is a conspiracy to make the Big Least sound like a real conference when everyone who watches football should be able to tell its mostly smoke and mirrors.  I'm just sorry that Bud Foster didn't call up Ralph Friegdan on Wednesday and offer up some tips on smothering that Rich Rodriguez spread offense.

I attended my first professional baseball game in May of 1990.  The only baseball games I'd attended before then were little league games that I had played in myself.  This was on a school trip to Atlanta when the Braves had been so perennially bad that our group tickets were incredibly good. Fulton County stadium was half empty, maybe more than half empty by the time the second rain delay arrived.  The Braves played the St. Louis Cardinals.  David Justice was the man and Steve Avery was every girl's eye candy.  The Brave's lost, but that was pretty typical of the team that finished in 6th place that year in the National League West.  For me none of that matter. I loved everything about it and a baseball fan was born.

All in all my baseball fandom has been one of relative luxury.  I relished the opportunity to watch the AAA team play in Richmond, especially those great rehab starts by the big boys on the mend.  Heck, the presence of the Braves even played a role in my decision to move down south. In all this time the closest I've come to rooting for a loosing team was the year I had season tickets in Baltimore.  Even then I was rooting for former Brave Javy Lopez way more than I was rooting for the O's.  

Yesterday my luxurious time as a baseball fan officially came to an end when the Braves were eliminated from the NL East race.  It was a nice run, but we've known since June that it was probably coming to an end.  Too much gone wrong in a year when everything went right for the other guys. A guess a girl can't expect to root for a winner every year--but thanks to Bobby and John I could pretend it was possible for a really long time.

I've been watching so much football I haven't taken the time to write about it. Rather than share more of my own blather (you know, Go Hokies, Go Falcons) here is some stuff I found interesting:

Technology at work in the VA Tech football program.  Its not just the body pod, its magic pills that transmit your core temperature back to a pda, shock detecting helmets and shirts that get hooked up to portable cooling systems.

A tear-jerker about Aaron Rouse and his decision to return for his last season at Tech.  Nothing like a sense of loyalty and a promise to his mamma.  If we do well this season his story will find its way into ESPN the Magazine or SI where it will become even more moving I'm sure.

My prediction for the most over-reported story of this season's Hokie football team.  One of seemingly 2 million stories on Brandon Ore's tenure at the 7-11 warehouse last spring. Yes it built character, whoopty-doo.

And let's not forget that Beamer Ball is back.  2 games and 3 blocks so far this year.  There was in interesting story about when and why Beamer Ball became so important.  Apparently we have to thank Deion Sanders and the whooping Florida State gave us way back in 1988 when he was their return guy.

On the pro front I do feel better after seeing the Falcons in action against the Panthers.  It's hard to tell how much we have improved given that Smith was out, but Abraham looked incredible.  I was disappointed in the performances of Roddy White and Ashlie Lelie.  Those two only combined for 10 yards receiving on a day when the offense was having its way with Carolina.  I love that we beat Carolina and Tampa Bay gets shut out by Baltimore.  Simms didn't look very good and with a bit of luck that will keep his confidence off balance when they play us next week.  If Abraham's late game injury wasn't serious then I'm confident he can rock Simms world--and wouldn't that be sweet.

The NBC NFL crew doesn't impress me.  They have 2 sideline reporters.  By my count that is 2 too many.  Add them to the mindless drivel that Maddens spouts forth and its enough to make you want to hit the mute button.  Of course all this pales compared to the new theme song that Pink belts out for them.  Its not that the song is bad, but it lacks energy and is an obvious knock-off of I Hate Myself for Loving You, a song that is apparently destined to be stuck in my head every Sunday night between now and the playoffs. I'm also sick of the endless commercials featuring Peyton Manning and his family.  I wish I had started counting them at kick-off today.  Somewhere there are college students taking shots each time one airs--and somewhere those college students are being admitted to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning.

How did your football season start if you are a fan of NorthEastern?  Well let's just take a snapshot of the first quarter:

• First possession, after getting sacked and making a stupid penalty you have to punt.  The opponent returns it to your 33.  Four plays later they score.
• Second possession, your QB is intercepted giving the oponant great field position at their own 45.
• Third possession, once again you punt--or at least you try.  The punt is blocked.  Three more plays and you are scored on again.

Now let's fast forward to the fourth quarter.  Your team is finally within field goal range with very little time left on the clock.  The field goal unit comes in and you think you just might get some points on the board before the game is over.  What happens?  The field goal attempt is blocked.

The lesson here?  If you are a 1-AA team don't start your season against a top 25 powerhouse--even if they are rebuilding.  It's just not pretty.

Turns out this is just a week for gadget finds that scare me.  Today's find is compliments of WSJ Technology Guru Walt Mosberg.  In today's journal Walt reviews a new toilet seat that warms, washes and dries the user. Walt says it best:

The Swash 800 doesn't have every bell and whistle of the top-of-the-line Toto models. For instance, it doesn't automatically raise and lower the toilet seat. But, like its rivals, it has three main features. The first are retractable, automated wands that spray water to cleanse the relevant body areas. The second is a warm air blower that dries those same spots. The third is a heated seat.

You don't have to buy a whole new toilet to use the Swash 800. It installs in place of your current toilet seat and hooks up to the existing plumbing valve that's behind your toilet.

Hrm...but how does it it do its thing?

A wireless remote control panel that runs on two AAA batteries controls the Swash's actions, and this remote can be mounted on a wall if you choose. Ten buttons and a display cover the front of this remote. The two wands are controlled by buttons on the remote grouped according to the gender of the user. There's a single "For Him" button that says "Back" and two "For Her" buttons labeled "Back" and "Front." These buttons are accompanied by icons showing anatomically vague stick figures.

For example, push the "For Her" front button and a pink wand releases a gentle spray. Each wand is rinsed before you use it, and after you arise from the seat, whether or not you used it.

Using the remote, you can adjust the force and temperature of the water, and the temperature of the heated seat. You must manually decide when to stop the water or air.

We found that the heated seat, which can be set to automatically turn off or on at certain times of the day, was a great feature. And the warm water -- once we got the temperature right -- was also a luxurious twist on the normal bathroom experience.

But, while the water was nice, the dryer was awful. It works only at one temperature and speed, and it didn't do the trick for us.

My verdict?  I don't anticipate trying one out any time soon....its just too weird. For what its worth these toilet seats are very popular in Japan--so maybe I'll try one on vacation someday.

WSJ Story

Brondell (The Toilet Seat Company)