GodsendJen

How did your football season start if you are a fan of NorthEastern?  Well let's just take a snapshot of the first quarter:

• First possession, after getting sacked and making a stupid penalty you have to punt.  The opponent returns it to your 33.  Four plays later they score.
• Second possession, your QB is intercepted giving the oponant great field position at their own 45.
• Third possession, once again you punt--or at least you try.  The punt is blocked.  Three more plays and you are scored on again.

Now let's fast forward to the fourth quarter.  Your team is finally within field goal range with very little time left on the clock.  The field goal unit comes in and you think you just might get some points on the board before the game is over.  What happens?  The field goal attempt is blocked.

The lesson here?  If you are a 1-AA team don't start your season against a top 25 powerhouse--even if they are rebuilding.  It's just not pretty.

Turns out this is just a week for gadget finds that scare me.  Today's find is compliments of WSJ Technology Guru Walt Mosberg.  In today's journal Walt reviews a new toilet seat that warms, washes and dries the user. Walt says it best:

The Swash 800 doesn't have every bell and whistle of the top-of-the-line Toto models. For instance, it doesn't automatically raise and lower the toilet seat. But, like its rivals, it has three main features. The first are retractable, automated wands that spray water to cleanse the relevant body areas. The second is a warm air blower that dries those same spots. The third is a heated seat.

You don't have to buy a whole new toilet to use the Swash 800. It installs in place of your current toilet seat and hooks up to the existing plumbing valve that's behind your toilet.

Hrm...but how does it it do its thing?

A wireless remote control panel that runs on two AAA batteries controls the Swash's actions, and this remote can be mounted on a wall if you choose. Ten buttons and a display cover the front of this remote. The two wands are controlled by buttons on the remote grouped according to the gender of the user. There's a single "For Him" button that says "Back" and two "For Her" buttons labeled "Back" and "Front." These buttons are accompanied by icons showing anatomically vague stick figures.

For example, push the "For Her" front button and a pink wand releases a gentle spray. Each wand is rinsed before you use it, and after you arise from the seat, whether or not you used it.

Using the remote, you can adjust the force and temperature of the water, and the temperature of the heated seat. You must manually decide when to stop the water or air.

We found that the heated seat, which can be set to automatically turn off or on at certain times of the day, was a great feature. And the warm water -- once we got the temperature right -- was also a luxurious twist on the normal bathroom experience.

But, while the water was nice, the dryer was awful. It works only at one temperature and speed, and it didn't do the trick for us.

My verdict?  I don't anticipate trying one out any time soon....its just too weird. For what its worth these toilet seats are very popular in Japan--so maybe I'll try one on vacation someday.

WSJ Story

Brondell (The Toilet Seat Company)

Some days I sit around wondering why Geeks get such a bum rap from society about being strange. 

Then there are days like today, where the intersection of Geek and Capitalism come screaming at you from the shadows and frightens the bejeezus out of you.  Today is that day.  In my morning trolling of web sites to distract me from work I found Shiny Shiny.  This site is devoted to gadgets for women.  As long as you stick to the mobile phones and mp3 players its pretty innocuous.  Then I tripped on the landmine....a category called Furnishings and Furniture.  "Diamond Solitare" napkin holders, bizarre visual sensory chairs, furniture that can grow, fish that can't grow....well its just too much to take.  My favorites-- a vacuum cleaner lamp and a robotron toilet paper dispenser.  As friends you have the responsibility to shoot me if these items ever enter my house.

I went to the Falcons preseason opener against New England and I have to say the most astounding athletic feat was accomplished before the opening kickoff.  In case you missed it one of our beloved Frisbee-Dogs set the new indoor world distance record for catching a Frisbee.  His handler threw the Frisbee down field over 74 yards and the little pooch tracked it down and caught it.  (The handler really should get some of the glory, I mean how many people do you know who could throw a Frisbee straight 74 yards?)  Of course the local media is so wrapped up in their infatuation with D.J. Shockly ("Shock" as they call him) that they have completely failed to include the Frisbee dog in their post-game write-ups. Yes, D.J. managed to complete a 14 yard pass to put is in field goal range---but on his first drive he couldn't quite manage to keep the ball moving. Bryan Randel showed some amazing rushing ability on his drive, but his passing game was just ok.

How did the players who will actually see playing time this year fare? Our starting defense made it clear that all the hype is useless against the run.  Cory Dillon ran through them like water through a sieve.  John Abraham had a nice sack that forced a fumble...but that was against the second tier of New England players.  All I can say is if our run defense doesn't improve DeShawn Foster and Cadillac Williams are going to have their way with us in a most unpleasant fashion. 

As for the offense?  T.J. Duckett had a couple of nice runs.  Jurious Norwood looks like he might provide some sizzle.  Vick looks like his escapability is back, but the much touted chemistry between him and the young receivers might have been overstated. Michael Jenkins had a nice catch for a touchdown in the game (pass compliments of Matt Schaub I believe) but Roddy White didn't do anything worth mentioning.  We let Michael Koenen handle the field goal kicking and I have to say I thought he did a bang-up job.  The kicks all looked a bit lower than I'd be comfortable with, but the distances made up for it.  The distances ranged from 40-50 yards.  Maybe we should keep Yelk around for kick-offs and let Koenen handling the scoring opportunities.  I'll also take this opportunity to share a random fact garnered from the Shayne Graham chat transcript--the balls used in the NFL are harder than college balls.  Something tells me that affects kickers more than QBs and Receivers.

Here's hoping the offense and especially the defense can start living up to their hype when the season starts.

Football Football Football Football Football Football.....what do you do when your team ends the season playing like a bunch of low-class hooligans?  You weed out some bad apples and then impose martial law with some strict consequences.  This plan is how coach Beamer spent his offseason.  The AD took cares of that weed problem in the winter and now Frank is making it clear he's serious about stamping out sloppy play and bad decision making.  The Times-Disgrace explains (emphasis mine):

Post-2003, the issue was cleansing the squad of selfishness and leadership voids. This time, the focus is on cleaning up the program's act, a worthy goal. To that end, Beamer has expanded his system of punishments that covers such items as blowing off class and blowing out the refs and sideswiping opponents after the whistle blows and costing your crew 15 yards of real estate.

As always, players who miss class or get whistled for acting-out penalties will face early-morning running - but at 6 a.m. Sundays and not mid-week, as before. Chronic offenders will forfeit playing time. And - this being the hit-'em-in-the-wallet innovation in the penal code - those personal-foul and unsportsmanlike no-no's will cost the perps a portion of their bowl stipend for food and entertainment.

"We've just got to make sure we get to a bowl," Beamer said yesterday. "If we don't get to a bowl, my whole thing is screwed up."

Now this leaves me wondering a few things--like exactly how much is that stipend for food and entertainment? And why on earth doesn't this code of conduct address off-campus issues?  As I recall the young Mr. Vick's worst transgressions occured outside the confines of campus.  You have to start somewhere, and this is a good place, I just think they could have done more.

Word is also out that Beamer is ticked that our field goal and punt blocking has plummetted over the last 3 years.  It should be interesting to see what happens this year since he is putting a renewed emphasis on it.  With an unsettled QB and so manny new starters a few choice blocks--especially if they are returned for a score--could be the difference in a game.

Its the time of year when you can finally hear the wonderful clicking of football pads whacking into each other on the practice field.  The Falcons are back in camp and welcoming fans to stop by.  Dorothy and I went by last Friday night for the fireworks spectacular dud and had a grand time.  It was her first practice visit and she was amazed that she had such access to the players.  Of course the big stars didn't find time to sign autographs, but she was thrilled beyond belief when Bryan Randal gave her his sweat towel.  Ah, another young fan created.

I made a tabblo of this pictures, check it out:

My team is experiencing an identity crisis of sorts.  They are apparently auditioning for a spot in the American League as that is the only thing I can think of to explain their rattling off 51 runs in their 4 games since the All-Star dud break.  The occasional double digit run game you expect, but 4 in a row? One of the most exciting things to watch in sports is a good come back from a team that is behind.  This year my Bravos found themselves needing that kind of comeback to salvage their season and it certainly looks like they are giving it their all.  This should inspire Shurholtz to make that move and shore up the bullpen.  With the way Wilson Bettimit was playing last night (he was 4 for 6 in what has been our ultra unproductive leadoff spot) I say trade Marcus Giles and Jorge Sosa (who is obviously on Cox's @#$@ list for his general apathy--I mean he got chewed out on the mound last night when we were up by more than 10 runs) for a veteran reliever who can come in a close games for us.

This just in.  According to Elias (via the Daily Quickie) The Braves are the first team ever to score 10-plus runs in four straight games against first-place teams.

The folks at the Galax Gazette report that the Kazim Hillibillies just celebrated their 30th birthday.  I think this makes them my favorite thing that is my age.  Growing up they were the highlight of every parade we went to.  The junky old cars, the barrels, the rolling Jail, that fab moonshine still.  They were just plain old fun in what is otherwise a boring parade filled with fire-trucks, church floats and mediocre  local marching bands.

Gazette Story

Its that time of year when you can sense football season up ahead.  That sensation is much scarier this year than usual.  My team lost 12 starters from last year.  14 players from last years team are on NFL rosters.  That adds up to a heaping lot of talent that we need to  replace.  What could make it more challenging?  Try losing 4 members of the coaching staff--the most coaching turnover the Hokies have had since 1992.  Our new coaches are reponsible for the Quarterback, Defensive Backs, Offensive line and Deffensive Line. We haven't hired lightweights in those positions (the new QB coach is a former D1 head coach at NC State, the new DB coach came to us from the Chicago Bears) but wow.

The annual pre-season annalysis is starting to flow and there is pleanty of hope in what I'm reading.  There is even a sense that we will put a large emphasis on character this year after the last few seasons that were filled with the soap opera that was Marcus Vick and enough personal fouls in games to shame a sailor.  (I can't help but wonder if this change is spurred on by the fact that the evil Wahoos had a better recruiting class than us for the first time in years?) 

My favorite quote of the preson this far is from ESPN's Blue Ribbon Year Book.

The Hokies still view themselves as underappreciated underdogs in the blue-blood ACC. The truth is that Virginia Tech is a legitimate powerhouse, a program that reloads, not rebuilds.

If they get good quarterback play -- particularly avoiding mistakes -- the Hokies have the defense and special teams to hang with anyone in the country. Again.

How healthy is Beamerball? Of the 101 players on the spring roster -- and that's a pretty healthy number to start with -- 66 have had a redshirt year to get bigger, stronger and more mature.

Who knows.  Put togather all those redshirt players and our patty cake schedule for September and maybe we'll be back in the mix again.

Go Hokies :)

I've been playing with a new photo site online called Tablo.  They do poster style arrangements of your photos in varrying layouts.  This one has pictures of my last trip to Virginia. Click on it to view it in real size.