GodsendJen

JP and Cason, two of my nemeses over at Southeast Shootout have harassed me into doing this.  They say its the cool thing for hockey bloggers to do, that all the hockey bloggers are doing it.  This sounds kinda like how I ended up spending that day in In School Suspension back in 9th grade...guess I never learn.

If I Were a Hockey Player

Team: Mudville 9

Uniform Number: 30 (age when I started skating :) )

Position: Healthy Scratch

Nickname: That Girl

Linemates: Barney Fife and Inspector Gadget

Rounding out the PP: Yosemite Sam and Captain Caveman (Hey, if I can play hockey anyone can.)

Job: Helping keep peace in the locker room by telling all the guys what to buy their wives/girlfriends for holidays. Troubleshooting everyone's home network.

Signature Move: The Oops. While trying to turn around and skate backwards I inadvertently kick the puck into the other team's goal.

Strengths: Makes everyone on the ice feel like they are a better player. Gets along well with the opposition.

Weaknesses: Guys with big sticks.

Equipment: Charmin. Its fluffy goodness cushions my falls and makes up for not owning breezers.

Nemeses: Tom Dickson

Scandal Involvement: see "Weaknesses," use imagination

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Two Dancing Princesses. This is how they will fare.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Fill it with sweet tea.

Would the media love me or hate me? The media always loves a clumsy oaf with a good scandal.

And yes, I do realize the Mudville 9 is a baseball team.  A baseball GM would be far more willing to sign me up to play hockey than any hockey guy ever would.