GodsendJen

1. The NHL is a Full-Contact League
   Hockey is a contact sport. The All Star game and Young Star game are non-contact games.  The NHL might have taken the fighting out of games, but hockey is still about the check. If you don't hear the sound of players being crushed into the boards at x mph* at hight speed then you aren't watching the NHL.  Pond hockey looks like it would be a lot of fun to play, but I doubt I'd get too excited watching it. This is a problem the All Star game shares with the NFL Pro Bowl.
2. The Gameplay is Fundamentally Different
   A good hockey game is a battle great offense vs. great defense.  The All Star game is an offensive showcase.  I don't blame the players for not risking injury by laying out to stop a slap-shot from the point. I understand that no one benefits if players are hurt during this game, but it isn't hockey.  At the end of the All Star game no one minds if every player was minus-5 for the night.
   
3. The Youngstars Game is Misnamed
   The NHL is filled with some incredible young talent.  Showcasing that talent together, providing that glimpse into the near future, sounds smart.  The problem--the Youngstars game isn't the best young talent in the NHL.  Its the best young talent that wasn't selected for the actual All Star game. If you really want to show the world the best young players in the NHL you have to include them all, even Mr. Crosby. 
   
4. An Incomplete Skills Competition
   In some respects the skills competition is the most fascinating part of the All Star holiday.  After all its the best of the best going head to head to learn who is fastest, most accurate, best with the puck, right? Wrong. The skills competition is limited to the players who are on the All Star roster.  Maybe the other players prefer the time off to going to Dallas for a contest...but is it really a shootout contest if Slava Kozlov doesn't participate?
5. Its the Wrong time of Year for a Game that Doesn't Matter
   Exhibition games are great at the beginning of a season.  They are even ok as a celebration at the end of a season.  But what is the point of having one in the middle of the season? The NHL is a league in need of fans, mass marketing and cachet.  Nothing about the design or marketing of this game does anything to appeal to the non-hockey fan or to encourage the casual hockey fan to become a full-fledge follower.  Eric McErlain had a nice history of the All Star game in his Winging It column over at NBC sports. The precedent is there to make the game itself interesting, and to hold it early enough to get someone hooked before the regular season.
   

I'm not suggesting you boycott the game.  But while you are watching it think about how much better it could be. Alternatively you could just amuse yourself with a drinking game.  One shot for each time a player says "for sure" in an on-camera interview. If it doesn't help you enjoy the game it will at least help you sleep afterwards.

*I tried to do a web search to find out how fast your typical hockey player skates.  I couldn't find any numbers.  If you know where these exist (and you know they do) feel free to share them.