GodsendJen

The beauty of being a never at home kind of girl is that I often miss out on the real drudge that is prime-time television.  But on this very rare Monday night at home I discovered what has to be one of the most painful side-effects of the writer's strike--a reality show called My Dad's Better than Your Dad.  Here is the premise...heartwarming children and thier proud papas work as a team to defeat each other in feets of strength, skill and agility.  This disaster of a show offers viewers several inspiring reasons to watch.

• The earth shattering look of disapointment on a pre-teen's face when they realize dad made a collosal error in judgement in front of all their friends back home.
• The look of pained restraint when dad is trying very very very hard not to yell at their kid for not being the best kid performer.
  
• Proof that stereo-types are right.  The cross-cultural competitors worked hard to verify all the stereotypes.  The Asian team wins the smarts portion.  The oversized guy wins the stregnth portion.  The rocker/skaterboarder combo looks good but doesn't excell at much of anything.
• Evidence that when it comes to quality programming NBC spares no expense.  They went all out and bought 4 flat-pack desks from the discount mart, 3 kettle-style grills and navy collarless button up shirt straight from the racks at Goodwill to make sure the host is never ever confused with Jeff Probst.
• A couple of windows, a frying pan, a tennis racket and 2 hockey masks to protect the dads from nerf missles.
  

On a serious note there is something precious about watching the kids berate their dads in their role as sideline "coach." I'm sure you can find clips of this disaster online, but do yourself a favor and just watch an old episode of the Andy Griffith show instead. Opie's "Aw, paw...do I have to" comes much closer to reality than "That's ok dad, you're still the greatest."

It is no secret that I'm a Yahoo Music junkie. Some of my favorite artists I've happened upon by clicking on the "Explore Similar..." links.  Groups like Cross Canadian Ragweed and singers like Paolo Nutni and Adam Hood.  But sometimes these recommendations just don't add up. I was feeling rather spirited and nostalgic today so I pulled up the soundtrack for "A Charlie Brown Christmas." Does anything say childhood Christmas the same way Vince Guaraldi's soundtrack does? (Ok, it was my second choice. Yahoo didn't have Alvin and the Chimpmunks.) But check out the "Similiar Albums" listed with this soundtrack.  Yes, I like The Arcade Fire..but how anyone gets from Gauraldi to Neon Bible is beyond me.

It's always fun when pop-culture recylces itself.  I grew up watching The Karate Kid over and over on video tape.  An upbeat soundtrack, classic good vs. evil storyline and cute boys...what more could a pre-teen girl want? Skinny little Daniel was a great hero, but we all secretly wanted bad-boy Johnny with his perfect hair and glistening muscels.  My how times change.  The Phat Phree dug up a video from the group No More Kings called Sweep the Leg Johnny. Mr. Belding has stepped into Mr. Miyagi's tiny shoes but Cobra Kais all showed up to play themselves.  You can see for yourself that Johnny and the boys were much hotter in highschool.  On the other hand, Kreese and Daniel haven't changed that much.

At work I usually refocus by taking a few minutes to read random internet writings to clear my mind.  Often I read about sports, but occasionally I end up reading the chronicles of expats who are living overseas.  I find their stories of adjusting to life in a different culture fascinating, especially the stories from people who find themselves living in Asian cultures.  The small details are fascinating.  The Wall Street Journal chronicles these frustrations in a column called The Expat Life, but some of the best stories are chonicled on blogs.

One of these is Captain Japan's Sake-Drenched Postcards. The captain provided a seven-part series on Japanese Hostess Clubs. It is a fascinating concept--men paying for the pleasure of a conversation with women.  For many women this sounds like one of the only routes to finacial independance they have, "It is no secret that the allure of becoming a hostess usually comes down to one thing: money. The chase for brand-name goods and the chance for an affair with a successful corporate executive provides all the motivation necessary for a girl to take up work in one of Tokyo's thousands of hostess clubs."

I've had a bit of free time this week and have spent some of it crawling through the dark recesses of the internet. Imagine my surprise when a Google Image Search turned up this Saturday Evening Post magazine cover.  The artist is Ellen Pyle and from looking at the contents listing the art doesn't relate to any particular story.  I just keep thinking about how women playing team sports is portrayed as a bit unorthodox during the 1940s in A League of their Own, but here we have an attractive woman playing hockey in 1927. It turns out Women in Sports is actually a recurring theme in the Post's cover art that began in 1923.

You can order prints of The Saturday Evening Post that are ready to frame from Curtis Publishing. I'm not sure where I'd hang it, but if I can think of the right spot I might have to acquire this. Would filling the space between my kitchen cabinets and ceiling with the Post sports art be strange?

This comes to us from geek blogger Phil over at Haacked.  It's a father's day advertisement from condom-maker Durex.

This week marks the first time in at least 2 months that I've felt good.  Not ok, but really good. I spent much of the last two months trying desperately to funnel enough caffiene and sugar through my body to function.  My house suffered, my yard suffered, and I made sure everyone around me suffer--though hopefully not too much.  The hidden upside to going through cancer treatment is it really makes me appreciate this point, Feeling Good Again.  It's when you wake up in the morning and think you've just gotten a new lease on life.  So appropriately my theme song for this week, and maybe this whole month, is Robert Earl Keen's Feeling Good Again.  How fitting that he's swinging back into town for a show at Variety on May 16th.  Like Robert Earl says,  It feels so good feelin good again.

Feeling good also means I can once again appreciate some of the creative exploits people post on the internet.  It's no secret that I completely dug The Muppet Show as a kid. They were on every afternoon and they were funny. The Muppets didn't try to shove education down your throat with stupid parlor tricks. The shows weren't Brought to You By The Letter 'P' and there was no segment requiring you to slowly count 5 items over and over again.  The Muppets were about entertainment, complete with musical guests.  It was Saturday Night Live for the first-grade set. The movies, they were a little lame.  But the TV show was the best thing on in the afternoon.  What else could make a 6-year-old understand that Harry Belafonte was...cool? Well here is an updated trip down nostolgia lane.  A trailer showing what might have happened if Jim Henson, rather than Quentin Tarantino, had directed Pulp Fiction. Yes, the fountains of blood are missing, but otherwise I say Spot On!

You might have noticed some issues with the site this week. On Monday I decided to upgrade my blogging software. This is a simple task.  Download files from Source Forge.  Change some configuration settings.  Upload the files to my website.  Unfortunately I discovered some problems with my FTP access during the upload.  It allowed just enough FTP wizardry to break the old version of the site, but not enough to install the new version. It has taken a couple of days for the hosting provider to work this out.  But we are back up and running.  Unfortunately I've lost the visual modifications I'd made to the old site, the blogroll and some other links I'd included.  I hope to have them all back by the end of the weekend.  Until then you are stuck with this skinable site.  Just be aware that not all of the themes in that drop down list will work with my content.

One of Google's cute little quirks is how they dress up the company logo for each and every holiday (even if its a holiday you haven't heard of).  In honor of Valentine's day they turned the second "g" into a chocolate treat. As good as it looks, they must have turned the "l" into something truely looked good enough to eat...because as you'll notice, it went missing--unless you buy that argument that the stem is an "l." Personally I just don't see it.

When I was 24 and bought my first house I was a novelty amongst my friends.  The only ones with homes were older and married. It never occurred to many of my single women friends that they could buy a house. If they did think about buying a house they quickly changed their mind.  A single woman couldn't really take care of a house alone, right?

Three houses later I'm no longer alone.  A new article on CNN Money reports that single women now account for 22% of the home buyers.  In fact, single women account for twice the home purchases of single men.

I am not, and will never be, a bra-burning feminist.  But  these numbers make me smile--and I'm very happy to not be an oddity anymore.

As A Nation Changes, So Do Homebuyers

The new highlight of my rather short blogging career comes from The Hockey News.  On February 1st they published a column called How the New NHL Looks to a Soccer Mom (And Why You Should Care). Number five on this list included yours truly:

5. The NHL Blogosphere Has Zest. CasonBlog is stylishly witty, and Battle of Alberta’s “Beard Talk” post had me LOL during the playoffs. But the Acid Queen and God Send Jen show that female fans can hold their own.

For the most part I think of this site as my personal soap box. My impassioned speeches about what was wrong or right with my teams amused my friends. When one of them pushed on why I didn't have a site of my own (given that I make my living from professional web endeavors) I caved and started this site. I never expected people who didn't already know me to find this site, and I certainly didn't expect the random emails I get from women who love hockey that thank me for "showing the world that not all female hockey fans are puck bunnies".  To Marsha Bryant and The Hockey News, thanks for the compliment.  I'm beyond flattered and I promise the check is in the mail as soon as I get your address.

JP and Cason, two of my nemeses over at Southeast Shootout have harassed me into doing this.  They say its the cool thing for hockey bloggers to do, that all the hockey bloggers are doing it.  This sounds kinda like how I ended up spending that day in In School Suspension back in 9th grade...guess I never learn.

If I Were a Hockey Player

Team: Mudville 9

Uniform Number: 30 (age when I started skating :) )

Position: Healthy Scratch

Nickname: That Girl

Linemates: Barney Fife and Inspector Gadget

Rounding out the PP: Yosemite Sam and Captain Caveman (Hey, if I can play hockey anyone can.)

Job: Helping keep peace in the locker room by telling all the guys what to buy their wives/girlfriends for holidays. Troubleshooting everyone's home network.

Signature Move: The Oops. While trying to turn around and skate backwards I inadvertently kick the puck into the other team's goal.

Strengths: Makes everyone on the ice feel like they are a better player. Gets along well with the opposition.

Weaknesses: Guys with big sticks.

Equipment: Charmin. Its fluffy goodness cushions my falls and makes up for not owning breezers.

Nemeses: Tom Dickson

Scandal Involvement: see "Weaknesses," use imagination

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Two Dancing Princesses. This is how they will fare.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Fill it with sweet tea.

Would the media love me or hate me? The media always loves a clumsy oaf with a good scandal.

And yes, I do realize the Mudville 9 is a baseball team.  A baseball GM would be far more willing to sign me up to play hockey than any hockey guy ever would.

Everybody loves panda's.  Cute and cuddly little tree eaters that are notoriously hard to breed in captivity. Researchers have hit upon another tool in this battle on breeding--Panda Porn.  The theory posits that male Panda's who have lived their lives in captivity just don't know how to do it.  Showing them video, especially video filled with sounds of Panda's doing the deed, heps increase the likelihood of a natural mating.

Porn Sparks Panda Baby Boom

I don't typically find much to complain about at the NHL website.  Sure its poorly organized and sometimes cumbersome to navigate but they make tons of high-quality material available to the masses for free.  I can listen to their daily radio show in the morning or games at night, etc.  Today my visit was to cast an All-Star ballot.  As a relative hockey newbie I made some false assumptions about what I should expect from this process.  For starters I assume it would work like the MLB All-Star voting does.  Do it online or at the stadium.  Choose from pretty much any player on a teams roster at the beginning of the season.  Choose to cast the maximum number of votes for any position or only cast votes for players I give a flying fig about. You know, standard All-Star voting stuff. Boy was I wrong.

My first shock came when I learned that you could vote only online.  This might not seam like a big deal given that wide availability of internet service these days, but its an important distinction.  The casual fan who attends a game for the social experience, because a friend had an extra ticket or because they landed the company tickets for the night is likely to cast some votes if an usher spirit girl hands them a ballot at the beginning of the game and collects it near the end of the second period.  Chances are this fan will cast some votes for players on the team he came to watch and maybe punch a few chads for other names he recognizes on the ballot.  This same casual fan, despite spending 8 hours a day in front of a computer connected to the internet, will probably never take the initiative to go out and find the All-Star ballot online and vote. 

But what happens when he does go online to vote? The ballot itself is pretty. It features 10 baseball-card style photo frames with a position listed under the frame and a drop down list of players you can vote for to fill that spot.  When you select the player you can see their photo in the frame and even choose to watch some choice highlights.  There are 5 frames for each division divided into 3 Forwards, 2 Defensemen and a Goalie for each conference. So far, no beef.  I go to cast my votes and find that rather than choosing from all forwards in the eastern conference I'm limited to 30.  Thankfully two of my guys (Kovalchuck and Hossa) are on the list.  No problem.  Frame one goes to Hossa, frame two to Kovalchuck.  Frame 3?  Well I want to write in Slava Kozlov.  He's been on fire and should get some recognition.  I go down to the single write-in slot for the easter conference and choose Slava from the list.  I don't care so much about the defensemen.  None of our guys are on the list and I've already used my write-in spot.  No big deal, our defensemen are improved, but I wouldn't call them All-Stars.  I choose Kari from the list of goalies and go hit submit.  I expect a "Thanks for voting" message.  What I get is an error alert.  It turns out the geniuses at the NHL HQ decided that you must vote for someone in each position slot shown.  I can't help my guys at forward out by not casting a vote for one of their competitors in that third frame.  I can't even make my write in vote for Slava at forward count for that third frame.  I also have to vote for defensemen AND I have to cast a vote for someone at each position in the Western Conference.  My knowledge of individual hockey players is limited to the guys on the Thrasher's roster, a few guys who played for the Caps when I lived in DC and some choice players with our Southeast Division rivals.  All I can say is I hope the NHL honchos enjoy the fruit baskets they are getting from the players at the top of each drop down list this Christmas.  I'm sure I'm not the only person who voted for them just because I had to cast a vote.

NHL All-Star Ballot

My morning blog surfing turned up some intersting theories about what makes a hockey team successful.  My favorite is from Uni-Watch (via Puck Update).  It seams that teams with a "target shaped" logo have goalies with higher save rates than teams with asymetrical logos.  The theory is that a rounded target on a goalie's chest has the unconscious effect of causing oposing players to shoot the puck directly at the goalie.  There aren't any real stats to back this up--or at least uni watch didn't provide any--but it could mean that changing to that new powder blue home sweater will give us a bump in the stats as well as in the marketing budget. As nice as that sounds I'm not sure the argument as a whole is that sound.  Just check out the stat sheet for the Sabres....I don't think of thier new slug logo as symetrical but they are blocking pleanty of shots.

The AJC is offering up a different prediction for what we are hoping is road success this year.  The switch from pizza and wings after road games to protein shakes and peanut butter on bagles. (I thought getting to eat like a college student forever was one of the great benefits of being in good shape.)

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that you can easily proliferate stupid ideas.  This one is dumb, but at least fun.  Its Talk Like A Pirate Day.  In the spirit of this I took a quiz to determine my pirate name.  The result: Bloody Jenny Bonney.  For me the pirates life is about the fighting.  I'm unpredictable but that's ok because a "pirate's life is far from full of certainties."  Get your own at Pirate Quiz. Once you have a name you watch this video to learn how to talk like a pirate and then you can hit the local watering hole and try out these Pirate Pickup Lines.

The folks at the Galax Gazette report that the Kazim Hillibillies just celebrated their 30th birthday.  I think this makes them my favorite thing that is my age.  Growing up they were the highlight of every parade we went to.  The junky old cars, the barrels, the rolling Jail, that fab moonshine still.  They were just plain old fun in what is otherwise a boring parade filled with fire-trucks, church floats and mediocre  local marching bands.

Gazette Story

I've been playing with a new photo site online called Tablo.  They do poster style arrangements of your photos in varrying layouts.  This one has pictures of my last trip to Virginia. Click on it to view it in real size.

I've been mesmerized by the Stanley Cup finals. I'll admit it.  The improbable road that Edmonton has travelled makes for a great story--and what has at times looked like both horrible and incredible hockey.  Despite this, the "Quest for the Cup" sure hasn't consumed my life...but some people appear to be more taken in than I've been.  Exhibit A:  My-NHL.com.  MyNHL was this year's marketing push by the league, but I don't think they are behind this site.  Whoever these funsters are, they are making excellent use of a video camera and a bubble hockey table.

Here is my favorite one so far....possibly because I too believe Rod Brinda'mour is a bit rough on the eyes.  Check them all out at http://my-nhl.com/

Wow. For spots enthusiast who didn't know already, there is a company out their helping you in your battle to make sure junior appreciates your college team.  Team Baby Entertainment has a selection of DVDs and other merchandise to start the brainwashing training out on the right foot. Soft merchandise includes sunshades, mobiles, puzzles and books.  The DVD itself features officially licensed footage of Hokie sports, mascot, marching band and campus attractions to expose children to Virginia Tech in an exciting, playful and educational manner. I don't know what's worse: that we brand our kids so young, or that I want to buy the dvd for my nephew.

I hear that normal women spend endless amounts of time fretting over our clothes and shoes.  A blouse that suggests without revealing. A skirt that shows the perfect amount of leg.  Heels high enough to make you look curvier but short enough to keep you from towering over your date. All this after we spend hours in the dressing room at Victoria's secret trying to find something that balances sexy and practical without having so much lace you'll spend the whole evening scratching.

Maybe, just maybe we aren't alone in this quest.

A highly entertaining article over at Slate gives a fun little rundown of the quandary men face in choosing their underwear.  Forget scratchy lace issues.  This article mentions the concerns of floppage, bubble buts, the y-front, containment and trunks. What does this fascinating read suggest all men should wear?  Boxer briefs. 

In Praise of Boxer Briefs. An Underwear Manifesto.

I always knew that people had some pretty crazy ideas for inventions.  This site does a good job of poking fun at them.  Its run by a stand-up comic and an illustrator, and they put those skills to good use.  Beware of your viewing location though.  Some inventions might not be safe for work.

Buy 10 of these babies and they will make you the dealer and give you a state, or even your own region, as territory.  Just think of all the fairs, gun shows, flee markets and nascar races you could sell these at...



Cruzin Cooler

Head over to Hey Jenny Slater and check out the rundown of who your college football team would be if they were a Simpson's character.  All I can say is that dude has way way way too much free time on his hands.  I don't agree with making my boys Krusty the Klown, but overall its amusing so go already.  Thanks to Deadspin for highlighting it today.

Some highlights:

Notre Dame: Montgomery Burns
Been around since the beginning of time; the amount of money and power he controls is massive, absurd, and quite frankly, a little scary. The kind of guy everyone in town loves to hate -- but they'd switch places with him in half a second.

Miami: Snake
A straight-up thug and proud of it. If you don't fear him, you're a fool; if you don't dislike him, you're just a dick.

Florida State: Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Oh, man, what a season. It's no cakewalk being an aging football coach, juggling a punchless offense and a growing nepotism controversy like so many juggling balls . . . two, I suppose. Still an authority figure, mainly because nobody else stepped up to take the job, but getting easier and easier to laugh at.

Virginia Tech: Krusty the Klown
Famous, powerful, living the kind of celebrity life anyone in his circle would gladly trade for. Yet each is haunted by his own demons of self-loathing -- Krusty is constantly worried he's going to be exposed as a no-talent fraud, while the Hokies are constantly worried they really are going to be pumping gas one day for the kids over in Charlottesville.

Virginia: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Went through long, difficult, trying ordeals to get from where they started out (the slums of India, a 32-77-1 record in the 1970s) to where they are now . . . which still ain't that good, unless you like working in a convenience store or spending your postseason on blue Astroturf. Then there's the whole mustache thing.

I noticed a little something extra on a $20 today.  It had several stamps in red ink.  One was a cute little red flower, the others direct you to "track" the money at the website Where's George.

Maybe I'm just gulible, but I went to the website and entered in my $20s serial number.  The person who "stamped" it had freed it from a Suntrust near my house.  I had gotten in either in change from a local merchant or from a teller at my Bank Of America branch down the road.  The concept is interesting. You can track any bill you want in the database and register to get updates on bills you've entered.  Of course you have to deface the currency in some manner hoping to instruct the next user to go put in some information about the bill as well.  I think having a life (and largely using my debit card everywhere) will probably be enough to deter me from marking up other bills that might come into my wallet...but it could be interesting to see where this little $20 goes from here.

For anyone interested their is also a Where's Willy site to track the currency of Canada. That site is tracking 1,716,693 bills totally $25,791,580 (Canadian). The US site tracks 84,295,862 bills totalling $472,849,798.

Now, can someone tell me who Willy is?  I'm afriad I know little about Canadian history.

In unrelated news I finally got out to a Braves game this year.  The game was sometimes exciting despite our loss.  That disapointment was offset by great company and fireworks.

My budget doesn't let me travel nearly as much as I'd like, but I found this list of money saving travel tips to be an interesting read.  (Thanks to the guys at Daily Gadget for highlighting it for me.) I wouldn't say that all 51 tips are fresh new ideas, but some of them certainly surprised me.  For example, tip no. 2 is "Trash Your Cookies":

Trash your "cookies," small files (stored in your Internet browser) that record the websites you surf—and the transactions you make. Say you go online and purchase a $200 plane ticket from Chicago to Omaha. The next time you visit that site, you could be quoted a higher rate than what's actually available because of your spending history. Avoid this problem by deleting these files each time you log on; detailed instructions can be found under the "Help" option in your browser menu.

As a web developer I accepted long ago that cookies could make my life easier, and I'm not really in the habbit of dumping them very often.  But who thought that companies would use them to bilk you for that extra money?  If you paid $200 last time you'd be willing to pay that again, right?  So why bother letting you take advantage of that $30 off sale they are having.  You have to wonder if other companies do this too?  I guess a good rule of thumb will be always delete your cookies before going out to make an internet purchase.  Of course it they can do it with a cookie they can do it with a database, so we might have to work on our cameleon skills.  Other great tips include Never Accept Food You Didn't Order when eating out (many cafes, especially in Europe, apparently charge you for these "freebies") and Beware of Cover Charges as some bistros overseas will seat you and server you dinner letting you wait until the bill arrives to find out about a 15% cover charge for dining with them.

Check out the article at National Geographic.

This morning a friend was kind enough to turn me on to YouTube.  Despite the enthusiasm of several friends I just hadn't gotten into the online video craze.  Sure, they are sometimes interesting, but is it ever really worth digging through the crap to get to the good content. I don't know that YouTube is different, but I like being able to:

• Search for Videos by their "Tag." A tag is a keyword, and I've found "Humor" and "Comedy" to return excellent results. I found entire ComedyCentral specials from Stephen Lynch, Adam Ferrara and Ron White.
• When you watch the video you are given a list of related movies, ala Amazon. People who liked this movie also liked... The other videos typically have the same Tags or submitters.
• The search feature actually works.  I did a search for "Family Guy" and it returned a 2345 videos, and almost all of them were Family Guy episodes.  The exceptions were personal videos that members had titled Family Guy.
• Any member can upload videos, of just about anything that isn't "illicit." They have video blogs and sections of family videos.  I don't particularly care to go around watching videos of other people kid's throwing their food.  But if my sister uploaded videos of my nephew playing with all the toys I bought him....well that I'd watch.
• They have an API.  I don't know that I'll bother doing anything with it given that I'm not much of a videographer.  But if I had a video camera and kids I'm sure I'd cover this site with videos conveniently hosted for free over at YouTube.
  

Of course, with the good comes the questionable.  These videos are uploaded by members.  I somehow doubt those 2345 Family Guy listings are there with the permision of Fox. Because the people who capture and upload these are not professionals there are quality considerations.  I've enjoyed listening to the stand-up comedy while working on other things, but I don't know that watching the videos would entirely thrill me. Finally the download stream of videos still isn't where I'd like it to be.  Most of the videos I loaded played with no hitch. But occasionally there is lag and you watch a video at a greater speed than it is downloaded.  Then you have to stop and wait for the video to catch up.  This is especially frustrating mid-joke.

If you are bored and want a good laugh, check it out for yourself. YouTube.com